A Lesson In Humility
by Vaughn's Jenn
Summary: *COMPLETE* :A Jennfic: [the
1. The End

**A Lesson in Humility**

**Yes, SD-6 is gone but for the purposes of the story, it still remains and Sydney and Vaughn have not gone through "Phase One"**

1.

She stepped in front of the car as he turned the ignition on and saw the look of shock that quickly ran over his face, looking at her through the windshield and the water running down the glass.

He took in her quickly dampening hair, her dark eyes, the way that all her clothing seemed to suddenly cling to her as her tears blended in with her face.

Sydney Bristow wasn't sad; she was confused. And furious. She stood there, headlights beaming into her eyes as she stoically stood her ground, ignoring the raindrops that fell on her and chilled her bones. Not moving a muscle.

It wasn't until an eternity had passed that Vaughn slowly took out the key and got out of the car resignedly. 

The rain snuffed all sound, created an eerie blue overcast over all their surroundings. Her words were calculated, low in pitch, slightly dangerous. "Why are you doing this?"

He forced himself to look up, to meet her eyes as he spoke so that she wouldn't think that he was lying. More than anything else, he was determined not to lie to her. 

It was the least he could do.

"You know why."

It seemed almost to be a scene straight out of some movie, the rain dripping down his nose, the wind blowing through her hair, her soulful eyes locked firmly onto his own as she struggled to comprehend his actions. 

"Do I?"

"Yes. You do."

She crossed her arms over her chest, shivering slightly as she felt the wet material of her jacket squeeze closer to the skin of her arms and stomach. "Please. Enlighten me as to what this inherent knowledge is because I don't have a clue as to what you are talking about."

He leaned his head back, looking at the gathering clouds as he laughed. "Yes you do. Do you think that this is what I want?"

Her eyes narrowed. "No one is forcing you to do this."

"It has to be done. Why are you not agreeing with me? We both know it's true."

She felt emotion explode from her heart and sear through her body though she could not yet identify what emotion it could be. "Will you at least treat me like a grownup and tell it to me straight out?"

He ran his fingers through his wet hair and for the first time, Sydney noticed how callused his hands were. _These are the hands that write the counter missions, the ones that hold me when I need comfort, the ones that stay strong and constant throughout anything that gets sent our way. Why are you taking them away from me?_

"I told you."

"Humor me."

He looked around. "Maybe we should go somewhere else; it's cold and wet and people could see"

"No." There was such a definite note to the tone of her voice that Vaughn didn't even dare ask why not. "You can't lay something like that on me and then try to ease your way out of it. You dropped the bomb and you are staying here to witness the aftermath of the situation. You are going to tell me this now because you should and because I _deserve_ an explanation."

She was right. She did. But had it only been so obvious to him? He leaned heavily against the car, relaxed in the rain, reveling in the way it pattered on his skin and the way its drops sounded almost musical to his ears. 

And when he opened his eyes again, Sydney could see the pain radiating from them and knew that this hadn't been the easy and matter of fact decision that he had made it out to be.

"Listen. Syd, the reason that I'm procrastinating is because it was hard enough to get it out the first time. I'm not sure I can make it through the second before at least trying to regain my composure."

She looked up at him. "I'm safe _now."_

He was going to say it. He was just going to say it. "Syd, I can't _sleep _when you are off on missions, all I can do is stay in bed and roll from side to side wondering what you're doing and how you're doing and... and  if I'll be able to see you the next day. I get obsessive about writing counter missions, emotional when you are upset with me, angry when I don't get to see your face... don't you get it?"

Her voice was soft and level. "Yeah. Yeah I get it. So this is all about you."

"Yes...-no. Both. Kendall and Weiss... They are all right. My judgment _has _been compromised, I can't think straight."

"Everything you've described to me has only made you a better handler."

"Then you're right. I'm only thinking of myself. I just know that I can't go on another day seeing you and not being able to touch you or look you in the eye for more than a couple of seconds." Vaughn's voice trailed away... She deserved a better explanation. But there was no other. This was it.

"If you _are _telling the truth, tell me one thing." She stood, her eyes blazing with fire and tears. "How will _distancing _yourself be beneficial to you? According to what you said, to cure yourself, you would have to be around me all the time."

No words came out. It had been so clear in his mind, all outlined and explained. Why did none of it make any sense now? 

She slung her bag on the shoulder, stepping up to him, breathing fire. "Fine. You can't take it, you can't _handle_ it, leave. If you can't take being around me, then go. Because I'm not changing... I'm- I'm _it._" She took a breath, willing him to stop her and beg her to forgive him, wanting him to tell her he would stay.

But there was only silence.

"When you can give me an honest explanation, you can reach me."

She walked away, feeling stronger but heartbroken. What was left to fight for now? Strange how with every single step she took, she only got more enraged. She felt like she was being abandoned again.

Vaughn was still staring at her retreating figure when she threw her bag down onto the floor and stormed back to him. "But don't think you can just leave with that excuse. You want to touch me? What? Just clarify this for me.

"You want to be sure that I'm safe or you want to be relieved of the _job_ of worrying that I'm safe? Because here's a newsflash. No matter what you do, I will still be going on my missions and the risk of death will still be there. So just keep that in mind while you are sleeping like a baby."

He would've sworn her eyes flashed red. "Sweet dreams. I hope you have plenty of them while you are busy _not _worrying about me."

She knew she was being harsh but that was her way of dealing with this. Another person, an important person, was leaving her life and she would father be kicking and screaming that sobbing like an imbecile.

She turned away, a burden lifted off her soul when she felt him take a hold of her arm.

With a grunt, she pushed him away from her, stopping him from mangling her emotions further. She panted, the sound of her breaths drowning out the rain from the outside world. "What, you're not afraid to reach out anymore now that you're not my handler? What do you want Vaughn? A present? Did you think we would still be friends? That we could end this on a good note and use our lives as fun _anecdotes_ to tell at dinner parties?"

He stared at her, helpless, caught in her rage.

"Fine, here it is." With all the emotion in her body, she grabbed his shoulders and kissed him hard, placing all her rage and sadness into this one last perfect moment in time. She knew he was surprised, but she had to get it out. She had never kissed so hard in her life. 

And when the moment of rigidity passed and he began to kiss her back, she stepped away, not willing to stop being angry with him. How could he leave her?

"Good bye Vaughn."

And she picked up her bag and walked steadily, so steadily, out of the warehouse so that he wouldn't see her tears.

TBC~

Well.... Whaddaya think? It will be S/V I promise... Hopefully it will live up to An Undefinable Sweetness but we'll see.

If you want the next chapter up and you know it, clap your hands (Or push the review button... That works too :))

Please don't hate it too much~ everything will work out... You know me~ Biggest romantic EVER.

-Jenn


	2. Five Minutes Before

Oh my goodness you guys, I just want to thank you for being so supportive and accepting my story so graciously. Though I had hoped that you guys would like it, I am truly grateful that you do. Thank you all for your kind words, they truly mean a lot to me.

**Important A/N at the end so please read!**

TO:

_WhiteLighter Enchantress: Hopefully all your questions will be answered in this chapter. Thanks for liking it in spite of the confusion._

_Kat: You too are definitely climbing up my favorite person list too. LOL! Thank you so much for your amazingly kind and supportive words!_

_Speedy: Wow your review made me liaugh. Haha, I didn't realize  that my stories were so hard to keep track of but now that I think about it, there are quite a lot of them huh? Haha, thanks for having the patience to read them anyway._

_Secret Agent Girl: Wow, it's so amazing knowing that you are always there to read and support me whenever I need it. And also to have you as a friend and be able to talk to you as well. Now that we have talked about everything (well everything that matters anyway *i.e. Guys and Alias*) I feel like I have known you forever and I want to thank you for being you. (good luck with------)_

_Dream Writer 4 Life: So glad that you approve. A chapter of any of my stories always means more when it has one of your amazing comments as one of its reviews._

_Mrs. Swearingen: Thank you so so so much, you have no idea how much it means to me to know that I am someone's favorite author, I still can't believe it._

_Chele: Your name is definitely familiar to my eyes now. I see your reviews everywhere and it always makes me smile to know that my stories are okay after all._

**P.S. If any of you guys are extremely bored... Crack the code in FFH (Ch.6 Yeah I know I'm doing a ridiculous amount of promoting for it but oh well.) Oh... FFH = Far From Home**

**2. Back in Time.**

**_~Occurs before Chapter 1~_**

****

Sydney nodded as she watched Vaughn's lips move as he briefed her. As always, his plans were immaculate, complete with escape routes, hideouts, emergency contacts, spare identities, and different solutions for every single problem imaginable.

It was nice knowing that there would always be someone to watch over her; that someone cared enough of her life to make sure that every single problem was countered and taken care of. It felt good knowing that Vaughn would be there waiting for her when she came back with that same relieved smile on his face. As if he had been holding his breath for the duration of her mission and had only allowed himself to release it when he caught sight of her.

It felt really good.

She smiled at little at him but was confused at the weariness that was etched on his face. It wasn't that he wasn't concentrating, if anything he was concentrating more on her mission than he ever had before. But she felt as if he was stalling, as if he was about to drop some sort of bomb.

He looked down, telling her that he was done, that their meeting was over. Instead of leaving, she sat on the crate next to him, looking at his profile staring at the ground. She knew that he knew she was looking at him but he didn't react; they just sat there for a minute, neither moving, neither speaking. Just one agent looking at another with a kind of hidden adoration and the other agent wishing he could do the same.

She bit her lip, feeling suddenly self-conscious. "I'm gonna go. Francie's probably worried about me."

She got up and picked up her bag, groaning inwardly as she heard the rain start outside. She had parked three blocks away and she now completely regretted it; she would be soaked by the time she reached her car.

"Syd. Wait."

She turned at the sound of his voice not because he had called out to her but because of the pain she had heard radiating from his voice. A pain that she had never heard before. Except once when he heart had echoed with that same dull pain when she had foun Danny dead in the bathtub.

"Vaughn, what is it?"

And as if his face was some sort of white board, emotion wiped away, leaving only a cold mask of stone, something that Sydney could not penetrate.

"We have to talk."

Something inside of her sank thought she was still unsure why. "Okay," she said cautiously, eyes slightly squinted as she watched him closely.

His voice was detatched, completely void of emotion and familiarity. He looked as if he was talking to a stranger- no this was worse- he looked as if he were talking to someone who wasn't even there. His words were inflected in the right places and his voice wasn't an irregular pitch yet Sydney knew that he was distancing himself and that his words were rehearsed and memorized, sounding more dead with every syllable.

"I have resigned as your handler."

If he had for some reason punched she could not have been more winded. Surprised. All of her previous feelings of gratitude for his protection for her were hopelessly entangled in the dark cloud of confusion that hovered over her.

He hated seeing her shock, it jarred him even though he knew it would come. He had known that she would react like this, that she would be shocked but it didn't change the incredible guilt that engulfed him as he saw the small "o" of her mouth and her eyes open wide, emotions sparring across her face as she fought to regain control. The hurt radiating from every pore of her body.

"What?" She hated how hopeless and desperate she sounded, how utterly naive and whiny her voice seemed as it resounded in her ear. "Why?"

He hesitated, almost unable to answer this question. "It's... complicated. Please don't think that this was a rash decision, I have thought about it for awhile now and have determined that it is for the best. Agent Bristow... We aren't compatible."

"Complicated? Not compatible?" Her astonishment was clear. "How can you say that? Vaughn, don't you know how amazing we are together?"

He winced inside, hating himself for causing her this pain. But it had to be done. _Don't you know how amazing we are together?_ He words echoed in his head, making him ache with longing to tell her to disregard the words coming out of his mouth. But he didn't. He knew that this was the best thing to go, knew that if he wanted to be taken seriously, he had to stop now.

So he merely looked at her once again, allowed his eyes to take her in once last time and then nodded curtly before walking away. He had said what he had had to say. And now, with helplessness engulfing him, all he could do was leave.

TBC...

**I just had an epiphany. This story's plot isn't exactly the most earth-shaking one and basically everyone can figure out what happens in the future. Syd and Vaughn have tension between then, maybe get forced together a couple times etc etc. **

**Though those moments would be fun to write, I think it would be more interesting (for me at least) to write backwards to the beginning and then you could see the steps... I dunno. I guess I'm thinking too "Memento" but what can I say? AWESOME MOVIE.**

**Let me know what you think about the story so far and my little epiphany~**

**-Jenn**


	3. One Last Goodbye

**A Lesson in Humility**

**~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:**

:::Memento Style:::

3. 

"I'm gonna go, man." Michael looked up and nodded at Eric as he walked by, stopping momentarily at Vaughn's desk. He placed his hands on the sides of it and leaned forward, forcing Michael to look him in the eye. 

Vaughn sighed, closing his eyes. "Eric, what I'm doing is hard enough without you standing there staring at me."

"I'm just making sure that you're really going to do it."

"Of course it's something I'm going to do. It's something I'm about to do _right now_ except for the fact that you're standing there distracting me."

Eric shrugged. "I just wanted to point out that once I leave, you'll the last man in the office. You've been sitting at that computer for about 3 hours and as far as I can see, and mind you I have 20/20 vision, you haven't written a _single_ word. I'm just thinking that if you were really determined, it wouldn't be so hard."

He knew that his friend was right. "I never said that it was going to be easy, Eric. Don't you remember why I'm doing it in the first place? It makes sense that it's hard for me... It isn't something I _want_ to do. It's just-"

"-something you have to do." Eric finished. "I know. I'm just thinking that if it's worked so far and we're accomplishing so much... is it important enough to sacrifice?"

Michael turned to look at him now. "Or the flip-side: is it enough of a risk to take. What if I make the wrong call because of how I feel about her? I'm not willing to risk that." He turned back to the blank screen that taunted him. "I need to work Eric."

His tone was heavy with finality.

He felt his friend leaving and closed his eyes once more when the door closed, leaving him with his own mixed thoughts.

~:~

He bit his lip, watching his fingers type the words that he would never have believed he would type. At least not of his own free will. And yet here they were, steadily streaming out like water through his fingertips.

It should have been easy. Or at least easier than this. He had to laugh at himself for checking what he had written every few lines just to make sure that he was writing what he should be writing and also making sure that he wrote it well. Perhaps this aspect did not make much sense but he felt as if, if he were going to leave Sydney, he wanted to leave an 'au revoir' that was fitting. Though she would probably never see it. 

_I am writing this letter to inform you that I wish to resign as Agent Bristow's handler. Though I had been very much persistent in earlier times that there was nothing inappropriate between us, I see now that there is and I cannot let the possibility of my own emotional involvement  enter into the larger scope of the actions as the CIA and perhaps endanger lives. _

He read it over. And he actually liked it; this was indeed befitting; it wasn't flowery or incompetent. It was a simple declaration that implied a hundred times more that its denotative meaning. And that somehow seemed to embody everything that he and Sydney had shared over the past year. 

He signed it a little wearily before folding it, something inside of him making him make sure that each corner was perfectly aligned, that each fold was creased in a straight line. He put it in the envelope.

And when he slid it under the door of Agent Kendall's office, he felt a sudden sadness that overwhelmed him almost as if he had lost a part of himself. He knew that essentially, he had; but this_ physically_ hurt and he had to lean against the wall for a moment just to regain his breath.

Walking along the corridor, he realized that he wasn't a handler anymore. That he would not see Sydney in the warehouse any longer, that he would have have the chance to inspect every wound to make sure she was safe, that he would never again have the right to hug her should she be for any reason sad. The offer still existed but he knew that she would turn away once she knew.

And he had to be the one to tell her first. 

It was only right.

He picked up the phone on his desk, knowing that the dim light in the office would show that he was the only one left. Knowing that she would be home watching television or resting in her pajamas. Knowing that she would come to him anyway. Willingly. Expectantly.

Walking away hurt.

One last mission debrief. One last good bye.

"Hello?"

He restrained his ragged breathing and forced himself to stay calm.

"Joey's Pizza?"

**TBC**


	4. Phone Calls and Snow Globes

**A Lesson in Humility**

**~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:**

**4.**

He realized that he had been rambling for fifteen minutes without interruption and suddenly grew skeptical of exactly how much Eric had been listening to him. "Eric, are you still awake?"

"No. And you know why I'm asleep? Because it's four in the morning Michael! Are there no clocks, no watches, no time-telling devices in your _entire apartment or did you them __all to Sydney?"_

"Shut up. I'm being serious."

"You're being stupid."

He sat up in the bed, phone cradled in his neck as he leaned against his headboard. "What are you talking about?"

"Every single time she goes on a mission, you get like this. You know that she's a phenomenal agent and you know that she always comes back so why can't you just go to sleep. And if you can't, why can't you let the people who _aren't_ in love with her get to sleep?"

Eric heard a choking noise from the other end of the phone and would have smiled if he were more alert instead of having his eyelids stuck together. "Don't even try to deny it."

"I'm not _in love_ with her. I'm just worried about her. It's typical and normal for a handler to be in lo- worried about his asset."

"I think you and I are thinking about different definitions of the word 'asset'. Keep your assets to yourself and shut up.

"I'm tired. I have a presentation. If you can't control yourself, either keep it to yourself or separate yourself from her. Seriously man, I'm not as beautiful as you. I need beauty sleep."

Michael cracked a smile, he didn't understand how Eric's mind was able to go so quickly when he had just woken up. "You're a witty man my friend."

"And for my wit, I gave up my looks so let me go to sleep. Why am I even asking permission? I'm going to hang u-"

"Wait. Eric."

There was a sigh at the other end. "What?"

"I had a dream about her."

He could hear the sheets rustling at the other end of the phone, Eric getting up with real interest now. "You see, you _are allowed to call me about this kind of thing. This is how friendship works, one friends dreams, tells the other about it… you get my drift."_

Michael shook his head. "I don't understand how anyone could _not "get your drift". You aren't the most subtle person in the world."_

"On the contrary, I can be very subtle. And who are you to be talking Mr. I'm-so-deeply-blinded-with-love-for-my-asset-that-I-don't-even-see-that-it's-obvious-to-everyone-else-in-the-universe-except-for-her? Very subtle. Especially when you know she's coming and so you take a shower in cologne or whatever the hell that is."

A mock-arrogant voice. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh please. Whenever all the guys know that Sydney's coming in beforehand, they don't even put ON their cologne because they know that just being the office with you will make it rub off on them."

Michael flushed slightly and was suddenly very glad that Eric was only on the phone and not here to make fun of him even more. "Go to sleep Eric."

"Not until you tell me about this dream…"

The pager interrupted the conversation and Michael nearly jumped out of bed in order to intercept its message. 

"Eric, it's Syd. She's back, I gotta go."

"At 4 in the morning? Jesus Michael, no wonder you got girls pining for you all the time… you can't just leave me hanging like you do with them! You build up their expectations and then take off."

He smiled, pulling on his pants. 

"Am I ever going to get to hear this dream?"

He laughed. "Not a chance." He hung up the phone and tossed it on the bed before tugging a white shirt over his head and rushing out the door. Sydney was back and waiting for him.

~:~

She was waiting for him, sitting on the crates sporting a few minor cuts but otherwise unhurt. Vaughn felt his face flushing just remembering the remnants of his dream, unable to believe that the real thing was right in front of his eyes. "Hey."

"Hey."

She tossed him a parcel and he stood stunned for a second before his reflexes kicked in and grabbed it from the air. "Is this it?"

"Nope, it's a present."

"A present?" For some reason, that statement made him tense, as if suddenly he wished they were back to being formal with each other, suddenly uncomfortable with how comfortable they were. For the first time, he could see what others saw in their relationship. He knew he would do anything for her. How far would that go?

At her nod, he unwrapped it and took out a small globe. "A snow globe?"

She walked over and took it from his hands. "Look, it's Italy and what do you see over there?"

"They put restaurants on snow globes?"

"They did in this one."

"Is that Tratorria di Nardi?"

She nodded, grinning at him and he couldn't help grin back though it was strained. After his dream, he no longer had to guess at what she wore under those suits. He couldn't let that happen. 

"How did it go over there?" It was an abrupt change of subject accompanied by an abrupt change of tone. She looked startled but then nodded. 

"It went well. Everything went to plan as usual. Thanks for your wonderfully detailed counter mission."

He nodded in reply, knowing that his attention to detail was done because of his feelings for her. He had to figure out everything that could possibly go wrong and rectify it. That was his job and he had always been an overachiever. But an overachiever in love? Perhaps that was pushing the limits. 

"Is there something wrong?" She looked puzzled by his erratic swings… she had thought that he would have been happier to see her, happier with his gift and the fact that she had remembered.

He flushed, embarrassed. "Of course. Everything's fine." He moved in to hug her but the contact was minimal and fake. The pantomime or placing your arms around another person. She tensed, feeling the way he was pulling back. 

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired. I'm glad that you're back." He allowed a heartfelt smile to come through. That was something he was allowed to say.

She smiled back, relieved that the Vaughn that she knew was back but still sensing that there was something more that she had not been told. However, she _had called him at four in the morning and he probably was tired. "I'm sorry I called you in so early, I probably woke you up."_

_I never went to sleep._

"That's all right. I needed to wake up from that dream anyways." Michael grinned though he felt as if he were blushing inwards, knowing that he was saying all the opposite things.

Her eyebrow raised. "What dream was this?"

He chuckled, raised his shoulders. "I don't even remember anymore."

She handed him another package. "Here. It's the Intel you wanted."

"Great. I'll see you tomorrow." He turned and walked out, leaving Sydney standing there, puzzled.

As he strode to his car, feeling the little snow globe knocking against his thigh with every step, his heart grew heavier. He took out his cell phone and called Eric.

"Is that you again Michael you son of a bitch?"

"Yeah, interrupting your beauty sleep?"

"It's not like I would ever get enough. You changed your mind about telling me the dream?"

There was a laugh in his voice. "No, I just wanted to tell you that you were right."

Confusion. "Right about what?"

"I do need to separate myself from her. This is too hard. I'm turning in my resignation tomorrow morning."

There was only silence on the other line.

TBC… (even though continuation is backwards…)

_Review~ _

_Question: Since this story moves backwards and I can, would you like me to include the dream? ::wiggles eyebrows::_

_Haha__… you can probably guess that it's slightly smutty (I'm not sure what "slightly" means yet) so let me know PLEASE!!!!! _

_Send me love~_

_-Jenn_


	5. Haze

**_THIS CHAPTER IS ONLY THE DREAM SO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ IT, YOU CAN SKIP IT AND MOVE TO THE NEXT CHAPTER AND YOU WON'T MISS ANYTHING… ESPECIALLY SINCE IT MOVES BACKWARDS!_**

**A Lesson In Humility**

**~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~~:~:~:~:~:~:~~:~:~:~:~:**

_The smutty dream [apparently] two months in the making.___

_I apologize for the gaps but you guys have probably figured out my personality and…tendencies by now. (I start new stories all the time and never seem to finish them. And don't talk to me about the one's that have a *complete* next to them because most of those are one-chapter stories and you know it). _

_So I'm trying._

_  
Here it is._

_If it helps, to those who are frazzled keeping track, Secret Agent Girl is my witness… I have vowed not to start any more new ones until I only have 2-4 unfinished ones left._

_WHOOWHOO~_

_Haha__… anyway, vacation is here so expect many updates. I hope they aren't terrible and don't make you want to puke or stone me ;)_

_~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:_

5. 

~:~

He sat hunched over his dinner, attempting to convince himself that this was normal. That he would _usually_ be this tired after a 10 minute walk with Donovan. That it made sense for his eyes to be bleary because he had read at _least_ one and a half documents at work today.

That the food in front of him was completely and utterly bland because he was a terrible cook.

He gave up on the futility of it all and was about to admit, just a little bit to himself, that this feeling might have just the tiniest bit to do with Sydney's absence. But goddammit, he was worried about her. He was _allowed_ to be worried about her. And it was in a strictly professional sense, he was simply worried about her person and not her… her eyes, beautiful though they were, or her hands, dexterous as they seemed, or her lithe body, which never seemed to leave him alone. 

She was his asset. And there really wasn't much else to it. 

He stopped thinking when the beeper beside him beeped intrusively, pervading his depression yet still able to bring a smile to his face. Sydney was back. 

Walking into the warehouse, he saw that she was already there, standing near the crate just as he always had and he had to smirk a little at the irony. The irony too that it was only now that he felt relieved and that with that relief came a certain sleepiness. 

She was garbed in the modest black suit that she wore so much, not that he could argue with her to vary her wardrobe given his own array of costume, and was watching him in a curious way, the expression unreadable.

"Hey."  
  
"Hey."  
  
"How was your mission?"  
  
She looked up and down herself, showing him that she was still standing and, from what he could see, was unscathed. "I'm basically made it through okay."  
  
His eyes opened a little wider. "Basically? Are you hurt?"

She moved a little closer to him and his throat tightened the tiniest fraction just from the movement. It was now, in times like these that he could admit that she was absolutely lovely… that he was attracted to her. 

"I got a little gash on my shoulder-"  
  
He was stooping next to a crate to get the first aid kit at once. She unbuttoned her jacket and swept her hair over and across one shoulder leaving her shoulder bare to his touch and his sight. 

As always, he felt a twinge of pain when looking at her injuries. It was unjust of this body to be marred in any way. And as he always did, with his breath lightly coming in and out, he grazed his fingers around the injured skin, taking care not to touch it. 

He got out the Neosporin. She winced slightly as he dabbed the cream on the puckered flesh and he noticed at once. "How did it happen?"  
  
She turned slowly from his touch until their gazes met, eyes only inches apart from each other, still strangely detached.  "You really want to know?"

For some reason, this response made his throat constrict even further but he nodded. 

"I was on my mission and I, as of course I always do, had to seduce the main big shot there. And so I charmed him and…" her voice trailed away as her eyes fell upon him again. She took his hands and guided him to a nearby crate and sat him down. "Okay- so pretend you're him."

And there it is. He can't speak. She's going to walk him through her seduction… all the way to her injury. Oh dear Lord. He's not sleepy anymore.

_What the hell is she doing?_ She's taking off her tank top and unbuttoning her pants. And then he understood with a twinge of both fear and exhilaration. She was in her costume. He wondered if it was alright to look at her but then figured that because he was playing the big shot, he had to or else she would feel unwanted. Anything for her right?  
  


So he let his gaze really look at her for the first time, took in the black corset-bra which squeezed everything in and… and out… took in the garters that lined her legs, the damnably sexy stockings that he knew, just knew, were net… and suddenly her high black heels, comfortably hidden before under her long pants, didn't seem so modest and mundane anymore.

"And so I was in the room with him, he was watching me the way that you are right now, and I walked closer to him, my necklace was my comm link-"

He looked at her necklace, a devastatingly beautiful blue sapphire pendant hanging off a silver chain, resting right where-

"And he sort of gulped I think."

Michael gulped. 

"And then I was right beside him and-" Her breathing seemed to be a little labored as she sat astride him, closer to him that she had ever been before, her hands finding their way inside of his jacket, tracing the outlines of his chest through his shirt, head dropping to his neck to lightly kiss his neck. 

He wasn't sure how he was supposed to react. Her whisper came into his ear. "While I was seducing him, he didn't just sit like stone you know. I should think- _Agent Vaughn-_ that you would want to know the facts _exactly as they occurred._ Her stress on 'Agent Vaughn- and all the implications that followed flushed him but then he understood. Finally. 

His hands left the edges of the box crate to land on her bare lower back, fingers lightly trailing a path up and down her back, softly. She lifted her face up to him and kissed him, reaching backwards behind her to grab his hand and bring it up to her hair. His fingers took a hold of the clip that held her bun together and unclasped it, feeling the torrent of her hair unleash itself upon them and flood around her shoulders and over his arm. 

Her lips were slightly parted now and he took his cue, deepening the kiss as her own hand reached his hair, burying her fingers into it. 

She broke their kiss. "He wasn't as good a kisser as you but he knew how to work his belt…"

Oh God. 

He felt her own fingers head lower towards his belt, her fingers insistently untucking his shirt, feeling cool and calm against his fevered skin before handling the belt buckle. 

His own fingers found the strings that held her corset together and played with them, entwining them with the strings and tugging at them playfully. He waited until she was pulling his belt out of the loops to suddenly pull and hear her gasp as the entire pressure of her body changed. 

And everything became slightly blurry to him after that, remembering only that she kept telling him snippets of her mission, illustrating every move she made with his own body and hers.

And then they were there, naked, their stares hot and smoldering. She stood over him, ready to lower herself upon him-

~:~

And then he woke with a flash, sweating and more aroused than he remembered ever being. 

He couldn't take it anymore.

He picked up the phone, regardless of the time, and called Weiss.

**TBB… (To be Begun)**

**Review… hope that it was still at least on the border line of pg-13… yeah… nevermind, I'm kind of embarrassed right now //blushes//.**


	6. Watching her Leave

**6. Watching her Leave**  
  
He stood against the railing as he calmly watched her walk away from him and into the airplane. The tunnel going to the airplane. Whatever it was, she was walking away.   
  
And immediately, even though he had promised himself that he wouldn't, that he couldn't, that he _needed_ to get sleep this time, he felt the familiar hold of fear grab onto him and slowly crystallize around his heart.   
  
From this moment on, he had no way of initiating contact with her. It didn't matter that this mission was simple. It didn't matter that she would be back, if the mission went perfectly, by midnight.   
  
All that mattered was he couldn't see her.  
  
He couldn't protect her.  
  
And he was finally starting to realize what people meant when they claimed he had too much of a personal interest in his asset.  
  
  
A voice fizzled into his ear. "Dude, if you keep staring at the spot she _used_ to be, you're going to start a fire."  
  
He jumped but then quickly regained control of himself, not moving at all but to say "I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"You _don't know what i'm talking about?_ Oh my Lod, Michael, are you seriously thinking that I'll believe that sh*t? You know EXACTLY what i'm talking about.   
  
But just in case you don't, let me clear this up for you. You love her. You are protective of her. She's on the plane and not within calling distance. Therefore you will not sleep tonight. You will toss and turn and worry until you can't take it anymore and end up calling me at 3 in the morning only to say something _completely idiotic_ like "did I wake you up?" because of COURSE you will have woken me up... I"M not in love with anybody! And even if i WAS, I'd still go to sleep at night becuase i'm NOT neurotic. But will you care? Will that or this change your mind? No. And _that_ my friend, is what I'm talking about."  
  
Michael adjusted his ear-piece. "Did you take any breaths at all during that spiel, Eric?"  
  
"No."  
  
"I thought so. Don't worry about me, Eric. Of course I'm going to be worried. This mission was penned by me. If it doesn't work, it'll be my head. I'm not going to call you."  
  
"Sure. Right. Okay. I'll be waiting for your call. Actually, I won't. I'll be sleeping. But I'll be expecting it anyway."  
  
As the click told him that the conversation was over, he couldn't help thinking how much he wanted to be able to convince himself.   
  
~:~  
  
So far, so good.   
  
He had come back from the airport, hadn't thought about Sydney the whole time. The Kings _had_ taken up about 2 minutes of the ride back.   
  
It was 6:00 already so she had to have landed. She must be in costume getting ready to enter the building. Only 12 more hours until it was a satisfactory time to call Weiss and gloat the he hadn't called him during the night.   
  
But he had to sleep first.   
  
And he knew he would lose even as he was cheering himself on.   
  
Already, he was having visions about mistakes, was mentally reviewing his countermission letter by letter. He didn't have photographic memory. It had memorized itself because he had read it about 40 times.   
  
Looking for mistakes.  
  
But now... for some reason, he was sure that there was one. Because there always had to be one. Every murder committed is done with at least 14 mistakes. If the murderer can think of 7, he/she is a genius.   
  
He didn't feel like a genius.  
  
In his head, he saw Sydney caught, trapped, gunned down maybe.   
  
He went over to the wine cabinet like he always did; corks a glass. Just enough to elevate his mood. Not enough to get drunk. That would not be an advisable mood to be in should help be needed.   
  
~:~  
  
By the time he clambered into bed, he had been praying for sleep to come to him for 10 minutes. During the time he washed his face and brushed his teeth, the only words that rolled around his head were "God, please let me sleep tonight."  
  
He doesn't mind being awake.  
  
He minds the worry.  
  
~:~  
  
He did finally fall asleep.  
  
But not for long.  
  
The dreams were about to start.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**The End  
  
  
"The Beginning"?????????  
  
  
Why is it the end?  
1) It seems fitting that the story would start from the moment Sydney leaves and he realizes the problem that is between the two of them and tries to alleviate it and that it would end with her leaving him yet again.   
  
2) I'm not the writer for this story anyway... inspiration has left me and I'm afraid that I have disappointed this story greatly with this last chapter.   
  
3) This story goes backwards so there really is no ending... anywhere is good.  
  
  
  
sorry~  
  
Hope if entertained you at least mildly in the beginning chapters (I actually loved the first one and the rest until this one were okay)  
  
-jenn **  
  
  
  
hmmm... just read it over again and the beginning is okay... the ending just sucked. Which is, actually, an awful way to end a story but oh well~ 


End file.
